Other people have lived there for years, but really letting go and selling it is another issue entirely. For all the adventures and dramas, for all the love and warmth. You would have a lot of wonderful childhood memories that are 'stored' there. It was filthy. Referring to homes as a total score for their buyer is obnoxious.Maybe that is how they see it…I see it as a painful loss.It is not a total score it is a home my parents and I cherished.
I have an understanding and a sensitivity now to just how emotionally wrenching it can be letting it go to strangers.
Thanks you for those and for all who shared their memories and feelings. This is a beautiful article. We had a few home health providers that visited many other homes that must have brought them in. It was so painful to see a lifetime disassembled in less than a week. And this is normal. Over 50 years of memories. few words.
I’ll always have these memories, and the house will live on in my heart.
I’m the oldest of 4 and the house we listed today is the one my father built 59 years ago, where he died in 2009, and my mother died in September (3 months ago).
They now reside at their new address…our hearts. All us kids had lived in different places, but the house in SoCal was a custom build at the end of a new development so we pretty much grew up there. I am going thru the same thing~ our house of 19 years closes on June 30, this Friday! I’m not willing to give them this satisfaction.
That helps me. We all have our sorrows, it was nice to read an expression of what I’m feeling. I cry, though not as often. Every bit of the house, along with its landscape and hardscape, was gone. (There were a few unmarried years when I was either in school (3) and a few married years (6) in an apartment, but my parents’ home was still there!)
I spent a great deal of my life there, learning to sew and cook and make jam and can tomatoes. A place where I have spent half my life. Memories of planting and selling vegetables to our local spar, spending Saturday mornings picking fresh spinach and radishes with my dad and rinsing them off in the swimming pool to taste. I’ve come very near to having a nervous breakdown and have developed clinical depression.
But that is only partly true–the absence of the structure sometimes makes it hard to recall how something in the old house was just so–and that makes the memory a little more difficult to pin down. I’m having a hard time letting it go and also respecting my parents’ decision. We LIVED in this house.
Cantera stone was brought in from Mexico, vaulted ceilings were employed to showcase the cacti-speckled mountains seemingly within arm’s reach of the backyard, lighting throughout evoked a cheery feeling at daytime and a cozy vibe at night. Thank you for helping me put this into perspective.
The buyer wanted to pay cash so they needed time and I got to stay in the house while they made a “mortgage” payment to me each month. I found a graphic that explains the stages of grief in more detail than what I learned so many years ago.
I am so lost. There’s something beautiful about a lived-in house.
It’s quite easy actually. Always thought about making a move “someday”. In my search to find the perfect gifts for my sisters, I came across this lovely story. The only gain, as far as I can see, is that I won’t have to do pool chores, get someone to do a spring and fall clean-up and snow plowing. Love!, ,
Kids can take this (amazing) Vespa-style ride for trips around the block or down the hall.
They picked out every nuance of this house together down to the light switches.
It turned out to be terrible mistake as they let it go down hill.
It’s amazing how much weight it can hold. thank you for this, you’ve written just what i’m feeling. Get in the festive mood with this everyday red sweatie perfect for the whole season.
Winner of an Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Platinum Award, this wooden Musical Lil Llama toy is packed with different musical activities for your little rocker., Now we live in a house that is very similar, but not as nice, in a new city. Most times I dream that they want to sell the place from under me…which of course would never have happened. Thanks for writing something that captures many of the feelings we are having. I have so many dreams running through the home as a child, a teen, or even an adult looking for my mother. Grandpa died in 2014. This house reflects the life and family my parents created together. My heart is absolutely wrenched as I write this. I wanted to move closer to my kids and grandkids, 3 hrs away. Was it just a house?
When the home is sold up and the family must move on, the emotions of sad goodbyes are very poignant, as growing up there was a time of safety, protection and being carefree. Hopefully they will remember. Recently I drove down the streets where I always rode my bike and eventually past the house and was suddenly crying like a baby, filled with memories of so many things. You shouldn’t be expected (neither should you expect yourself to be able) to work through all of this on your own. It’s definitely something to keep in mind that homes are so hard to leave sometimes. Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time. I moved 17 times as a kid so I sometimes struggle to find roots in a home…as they feel temporary to me now. 49 years ago my parents bought this house and brought 8 children to live here. Thank you for easing my pain tonight. I feel I’ve let down my ancestors. Maybe that’s why I’m so surprised by my feelings of sadness and anxiety. Tomorrow I’m saying goodbye to you for the last time.
My soul and those of my dearly departed are tied to it. It’s not the great architecture, or the way the light pours in through the windows in the morning. I honestly feel right now as if I’ll never recover from the sheer grief I’m feeling. Steve Hartman says goodbye to his childhood h... 02:52 TOLEDO, Ohio -- Long before I went on the road, there was one road -- Malcolm Road -- in … So it sounds silly but I did say aloud ” goodbye , house , and thank you “. I think that there are those who see their home as just a house.
My brother and I were raised in the home and since I remained there after getting married am particularly affected by what has happened. I hope that as I get closer to the move, I will find some joy in the process of making the place my own. I have found solace in knowing that my family is the core root structure upon which I stand and the houses I have lived in are the garden. I got an offer on it the first week it was listed which shocked me. I didn’t realise just how much until now. I have appreciated theses Halcyon days and being able to soak in the ambiance even if most of the rooms are empty.
Rocky, dusty, and filled with thorn trees, it was the start of something amazing. My grandmother passed. And the dogs, the cats, the hamsters, some of whom are buried in our yard, their little memorial statues in place! We cleaned it up, restored it.
My heart broke for a home too and still breaks daily; seven months on. I knew I couldn’t make a go of it financially by myself and I was very close to having a nervous breakdown so I decided the only thing I could do was to sell the house…just to get away from the problem. I want to stay here. I cannot imagine coming back to see them, and see my home next to theirs. Buff and beautiful bodies leaving the gym.
For a few years now, my mother, my older sister and I have been urging my father to sell our childhood home. The memories created there took on more profound meaning than ever before after my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2010.
(And I do so hope, your home.) Going through my childhood belongings, I started to look at my room a little differently. They have both passed away, my Mom just last year. This made us unable to even afford living in the house anymore so the inevitable happened. Dress your little one in this super sharp blazer with contrasting elbow patches (we love it for girls too). I am in so much pain over selling our townhome.
Thank you for your essay. People don’t seem to understand that places can mean so much to people and be so special. I always wanted to be a police officer, like my father before me.
My father died peacefully in this house 7 months after my Mom died. We would also go there for the same in our adult years after marrying and buying homes of our own. It was my life.
There’s the house where I spent ages 2-12 in Indiana, and the house we originally moved to in Arizona where we lived for seven years. It echoed the crying — it amplified the laughter. I have seen the house back again as it is now a centre for recovering addicts and I had to collect still done if my mum’s furniture that was stored in the barns there . Five weeks ago my 83 year old mother, husband, one and a half year old son and I were forced out of my childhood home due to foreclosure. They grew up there but understand why i sold (220 yr old house, 2 acres, I live alone, the amount of work is often overwhelming). Quite appropriate, as in the past ten years, I’ve said goodbye to my own first home (when I moved back home to take care of Mother after Dad died), my grandmother’s grand old house (inherited with Mother’s estate, had to be sold), and will likely say farewell within the next couple of years to my childhood home, which I inherited and have lived in since 2006, but may need to sell to relocate for graduate school and the new life that follows.
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